Saturday, September 16, 2006

In Loving Memory of My Brother

To my dearest brother, Chuck -
Just found out today that my oldest brother, Chuck, died yesterday in his sleep, Sept 15, 2006. He was 38 years old. Words cannot express how i'm feeling right now. I haven't seen him in 4 years - I speak to him occasionally, sometimes we email eachother, and last week he told me that he was going to come down to D.C. to visit us. He lives in Toronto, Canada. He was quite excited, already planning what he's going to cook for me when he comes over. I spoke to him on Sept. 11th and I was telling him that I wasn't happy and that I am not getting what I want in my life. He just told me to be patient and someday my dreams will come true...Those were his last words to me - It's so painful to know that your brother is gone and I keep thinking about all those things we did together as a famly. But, he lived his life to the fullest and he was a happy man. A jolly and fun guy. Always ready to do the next adventure, always the one willing to drive the whole family around, going on long trips, etc. I feel sad that I never got a chance to talk to him more or even chit-chat once in a while. How I wish I could press rewind and change some things or maybe even tried to contact him or talk to him more....but, it's too late because he's never coming back and I hate myself for that. But, I am glad that he lived his life and he found a good wife. He was my big teddy bear.... and I will miss him, terribly. I will surely miss you, Kuya Chuck. I will miss your care-free attitude and the positive energy you bring into a room, I will miss those times when we were little and how we used to play war, all those times growing up in B.F., all those times growing up in Old Brentford Ct., all those times you taught me how to clean the kitchen, and most of all how you taught me how to be strong. I am glad you are at peace now, I love you forever and always. He asked me last week to draw a cartoon of himself and I promised him that I would - Kuya Chuck, I also promise and I swear to dedicate my very first published Children's Book in your memory. I will really miss you and will never forget you. -Mitch


Blogger Random York said...

Hi Michelle,I love your distinct style! Great characters!
I am so sorry to here of your brother's passing...
May God bless you and your family..
Sincerely, John (randomyork) York

1:44 PM  
Blogger justannax said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your great loss. My sincerest well wishes for you and your family in this difficult time.


2:45 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you for the message, Random York
and Justannax! Really appreciate it.

4:39 PM  
Blogger bill zeman said...

so sorry for your loss - 38 is too young

6:50 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

So sad, so sorry for your loss. Makes me want to contact my brother that I rarely talk to. Keep on keepin on and express your feelings through your work. It's therapy. Thanks for your post to my blog.

7:04 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

thanks guys! appreciate it! thank you bill
and jay!

8:12 PM  
Blogger coloribus said...

I am sorry to learn this sad news; this text that you have just written is a great homage to your brother. I present to you my sincere condolences.

2:42 AM  
Blogger BINO said...

Je suis désolé Michelle.



2:54 AM  
Blogger the enigma said...

my condolences to your loss michelle. may God bless you in this difficult time! cheer up...

4:21 AM  
Blogger Soo said...

hi sorry about your brother, he was so young too! in a way you know he'll never grow old, because in your memories he'll always be the same age you last saw him....take care.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you, Bino, Coloribus, Soo and Enigma! I really appreciate it! Thank you -

6:48 AM  
Blogger Teri C said...

My deepest sympathy Michelle, it's never easy to lose a loved one and especially so young. Don't think about all the things you could have done, just enjoy the memories. I know because I enjoy the memories of my brother also.

3:12 PM  
Blogger flossy-p said...

So young! Oh how heartbreaking... I'm so so very sorry, you must be feeling so upset. I hope you and your family find stregth and comfort in each other at this time. Take care of yourself, hugs .x.x.x.x

4:07 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you Flossy-P and Teri -
Thank you -

7:12 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you Flossy-p and teri - thank you....

7:13 PM  
Blogger kg said...

i'm so very sorry to hear about your brother. what a shock this must have been for his family. i wish you and your family peace.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you for the message, Kg..

10:54 PM  
Blogger Jules Knoblock said...

I am so sorry to hear of your news. That is so young. My sympathies to you and your family,
jules xx

4:06 AM  
Blogger Tanya Nichols said...

Oh Michelle so sorry to hear of your happy to hear you had happy memories with your brother...
much love and keep creating...

7:11 AM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

thank you tanya and jules!
really appreciate it!

7:18 AM  
Blogger Halloweenville said...

So sorry for your loss, my prayers are with you and your family.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Ellen said...

Very sorry to hear about your brother. I also do not see my brother much...his wife won't allow him to socialize with the rest of the family...just makes you realize how important communication is at any cost. I'll keep you in my prayers.

8:48 AM  
Blogger Michael O'Connell said...

hang in there michelle… life will go on and your brother will always be there with you… he sounds like a great guy… don't be too hard on yourself… i'm sure he wouldn't ant that… now get to work on that book!

9:10 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

HI Micheal and Ellen - thank you for the uplifting message - thank you.

9:21 AM  
Blogger anna bebe said...

ate i love you and miss you...i wanna come see you when i get home and give u a hug.. im sad, hope ur doing alright ate

11:52 AM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

thanks you too.
I'll see you when you get back..
I know Kuya Chuck is in a better place now...

12:29 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you Halloweenville! Really appreciate it.

8:22 PM  
Blogger swahnen said...

Im so sorry for you, I will light a candle for him tonight. it will bring some light into the dark nordic fall!

1:29 AM  
Blogger ValGalArt said...

I am so terribly sorry Michelle! This brought tears to my eyes and I feel your pain and I love my brothers and don't get t see them much so I relate to everything you said. Much love to you and your family.~valerie walsh

10:52 AM  
Blogger Rhackie said...

Hi Michelle,
I haven't spoken to you in a long time but I heard from Florissa that you're brother passed away. I'm very sorry and I will pray for him, for you and your family. May he be at peace and may you all find comfort in knowing that he is not suffering. You now have a very loving angel watching over you everyday. Find comfort in knowing that he is there with you always. Take care and i hope we can get together again. It's been a long time and I miss drawing with ou. My cell is 703-627-5019 and my email is Take care and God bless you.

11:55 AM  
Blogger Tiger Mouse said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I have a big lump in my throat after reading that post. My sympathies to you and your family. Your dedicatory cartoon is beautiful.

Katy (aka Tiger Mouse)

7:22 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thank you Val, TigerMouse and Rhackie!
Really appreciate it...

8:00 PM  
Blogger Jim E. said...

Dear Michelle,

I met your brother a few times, and I'm greatly saddened by your loss, and the loss of your family. He was a very sincere, warm, and caring man. I can't imagine the pain that you must be feeling. I hope that the promise in Acts 24:15 may provide you with some comfort at this time. It says, in part "there is going to be a resurrection..."

Sincerely, Jim (from Toronto)

5:29 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Hi Jim E..
Thank you...really appreciate the message..
It's a very hard time for everyone, but we all just have to be strong. thanks again for the message..
take care.. michelle

9:29 PM  
Blogger scribblesk said...

Please accept my heartfelt condolences. God is close to those who are brokenhearted.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

thank you scribblesk! really appreciate it!

7:58 PM  
Blogger Adrian Ropp said...

Michelle, thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts about your brother. I'm so sad to hear about your loss. It's never easy to lose someone so close to your heart, but you've truly honored him here. You, and your family, are in my thoughts. Take care.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

thank you so much, adrian!

5:36 AM  
Blogger julie said...

I'm so sorry to hear this.
He sounds like a wonderful brother.

8:04 PM  
Blogger Yogui said...

I've never had a brother, or a sister, but I do feel you. Coping with the loss is sometimes slowly and painful but it's much nicer if you can think of all his best smiles he gave you, his work and your moments together, right?

7:41 AM  
Blogger "Maggie" said...

My heart goes out to you and the loss of your brother. May the memories of him help you through the toughest times and give you peace.

6:40 AM  
Blogger Michelle Lana said...

Thanks for the message, Maggie! really appreciate it..

6:52 AM  
Blogger Linda said...

michelle, i'm sorry to here of your lost, he sounds like a wonderful guy who loved his sister. I bet he is smiling as he read your post and sees your pictures. keep the faith!

11:53 PM  
Blogger aBula said...

Hi Michelle,
so sorry to hear about your loss.
I offer you my deepest condolences.
Take care and Be strong.


9:46 AM  
Blogger potatomamma said...

Dear Michelle
So sorry to hear of your loss, wishing you lots of strength! I have a loved brother too and it would tear my heart apart to see him go, so I feel with you! I'm sending you a happy thought to guide you through your tough time now, that hopefully will get big and shining one day: even though it's not the most important thing in the world in my eyes, I feel that you'll be very successful one day (if you aren't already). Your work is beautiful!
Don't beat yourself up over not having gotten in touch more often. I see where you're coming from, but unfortunately time runs away from all of us, it just happens. The way you write your brother wasn't mad at you, but you were at very good terms, which to me seems a lot better than parting while having a fight or disagreement or unsolved issue. I don't know if these words are of any consolence, they are meant to in any case =)

All the best!! And let me know when you published your first book! =)

1:52 AM  

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